This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize