why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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