I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
