k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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