Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
