Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
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i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
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If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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