the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
