guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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