it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
