I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
