forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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