he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
