Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
