It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
