I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
