Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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