And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
