OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
