matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
