Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
