a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
