i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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