We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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