You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
