The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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