Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
