that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
