sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
