ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
