bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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