have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My dick has a subreddit
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
