is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
