Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
