Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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