and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
