Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
