so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
When are your genitals available?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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