So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
