if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
