My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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