it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
