Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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