there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
