we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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