I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
