Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize