Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
