stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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