11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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