this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
