Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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