I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
