I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
