Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
