Nicole vs. Life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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