Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
