They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
MIDGETS
????
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
