You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
